I have been looking forward to the Zombie Walk ever since I joined up, and I'm so happy that it's finally here. It's finally time for you guys to meet one of my very best friends. I addressed my pet zombie in a previous post. I implied that he is an asshole, which he is. But he has a reason for it, so I can’t blame him too much. He doesn’t like me very much, I don’t think. The only reason he stays with me is because I feed him. I don’t really feel comfortable telling you how I feed him (legal issues); but regardless of how it’s done, we’ve established a nice symbiotic relationship. I feed him; he keeps me safe from psychos at night. That was the deal. One night, when we were hiding from one of those psychos, he told me a story to alleviate some of my distress. He agreed to let me share his story with all of you (maybe he’s not such an asshole, after all; I think I’ll go give him a hug when I’m finished). It might not be verbatim, but it’s close enough and should adequately explain why he is the way he is.