7.24.2011

# 6 -- Night of the Living Dorks (2004)

Director: Mathias Dinter
Rating: 5 / 5

We have three dorks. Philip is the I turn into a blubbering mess when I try to talk to girls type. Wurst isn't really that much of a dork. He's just a stoner. And, my favorite, Konrad. He is the type that wears glasses and gets beat up. He even keeps a record of all his beatings. And then there's Rebecca. She lives next-door to Philip. She's a goth girl who is into witchcraft and voodoo. 

Philip asks Rebecca to make him a love potion, so he can win the heart of the school whore. Rebecca asks him to prove that he takes voodoo seriously by accompanying her and a couple more goth kids to a ceremony in the graveyard. When they get there, they realize that these kids are the absolute WORST at voodoo magic. 

Here's what they need for their ceremony: a live sacrifice, authentic zombie ashes, and blood.
Here's what they actually have: a frozen chicken, a band-aid, and authentic zombie ashes (the only part they got right). The ritual (to raise the dead), shockingly, does not work. Or at least, that's what they think. When the zombie ashes are poured all over our dorks, they get fed-up and leave. But on the way home, Wurst (who is driving) decides to try out some weird homemade bong. And they crash. But with the ashes of a zombie sinking into their blood, they survive. Kind of...


They wake up in a morgue, evidence of their accident still in place (one of them was impaled with a windshield wiper), and later escape. When they realize what has happened, that they have become flesheating zombies, Philip runs to Rebecca for help. She agrees to find an antidote. But meanwhile, they'll have to keep their cravings in check. Philip and Wurst are fine, the only evidence of zombieism being the pale skin and failing body (Philip loses his balls more than once, and has to have Wurst staple his penis back on with a staple gun.) But Konrad...Well, Konrad is special. 

Armed with a staple gun (to keep himself together), and his record book of beatings, he seeks revenge. He goes on a mission to eat everyone who had ever crossed him, including their gym coach (the only thing left was a foot; I guess it was too smelly to eat). 


I think some would argue that this is not actually a horror movie. But it has the elements of a horror movie. There are some suspenseful parts, there is blood and guts, and of course sex; we can't have a horror movie without sex. But I won't deny that it is also a comedy. It's a horror comedy, but it's still horror. 

This one was originally in German. There are no subtitles, but if you can deal with the English dubbing (which, to me, wasn't all that obvious) this is definitely worth a watch. It is funny, and the gore effects are pretty good. Plus, Konrad is flippin' adorable. And it only gets better when he goes crazy and starts eating people. 

So if you're into horror that makes you laugh, give Die Nacht der lebenden Loser a try.

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